Hiding

I pull shut the curtains in my mind

Create a place that I can hide

And in the dark I shy away

Hoping tomorrow will be okay

 

But trapped in the crypts within my head

Deep in the tunnels I so often tread

Thoughts of malice, anger, regret and dread

Throughout my mind, like a fire, they spread

 

I have to stop always trying to hide

And keeping everything locked inside

I’ve got to find a way to escape my shell

Face my demons and give them hell

 

 

7 thoughts on “Hiding

  1. Wow – I’m enjoying your poetry. Glad I found you on here. I think what you feel is something that most people go through, although it is unique for each individual. They want you to think medication will fix it. They want to use distractions to keep these things locked inside of you. But, you already know what the things are. There is a way to rid them forever. A way that doesn’t involve meds or constant distractions. A way to truly defeat the demons and stop being a demoniac. Good for you for calling these things as they are. It is a step, and each step is a progression toward Truth. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you.
      I agree that most people go through similar things. But I also do believe medication helps; it has helped myself and many others. And distractions – well, they can often be very therapeutic as well.
      I am hesitant to ask what the way is to defeat the demons, as I may already know the answer and (if I am correct) it is not one I would agree with.

      Like

      • Hi, Matt. Thanks for replying :). I, too, had been medicated for many years. I suffered extreme anxiety and hypochondria. I believed the meds helped me at the time, but in actuality they were slowly breaking down things in my body that were healthy. Long-term use of medication have severe side effects on the human body/organs. It is not true healing, only a mask for the underlying cause. After the medication wears off, the anxiety/phobia comes back.
        I, too, believed that distractions were therapeutic. I surrounded myself with distractions. I was an extreme consumer turned into a being that was consumed. Again, the anxiety/phobia would come back, but I would just go shopping again. Or binge on games. Or take illicit drugs etc.
        All I’m saying is that those things didn’t truly work for me nor heal me to the core. They just momentarily suppressed what was happening.
        You are correct to know that Jesus is my answer. I never believed in any circumstance that He would ever be my answer. I was stubborn and thought it was all loopy stuff only really mental people believed in. Anyway, I was spiritual enough. So, I tried studying many different faiths or religions or naturalisms. Nothing broke my mold. Nothing shattered my world. I could not feel it in my bones until I read the bible for myself. Just picked it up one day. I’m not a part of a physical church, nor any religious group/denomination. I’m not asking for you to believe either. These things happen or they do not. I just wanted you to know that I’ve lived with demons as well. Your poetry touched me. Its as if I could hear my old self crying out for true relief. I hope you are able to understand. Be blessed and lots of love to you.

        Like

        • Please don’t take my dismissiveness of religion or faith as patronising or scornful; I occasionally get a little defensive after slightly more evangelistic visitors to my site (I tend to delete such comments).
          I come from a Christian family and was brought up in a fairly religious background. I totally understand and have seen first hand the positives people get from it. I’d love to be able to have even something close to a belief system, but I do not. I spent a month in Peru as part of a mission team 10 years ago, which gave me an invaluable insight into the wonders that religion can do, as long as it is not taken to the same lengths as the Templars or various Islamist movements.
          I do have an interest in theology, which I think is actually heightened by my lack of belief in any form of deity.
          In short, we all find our answers in different places; for you and many others it is religion, for me it is medication and (tame) distractions – namely my writing and composing.
          I, understandably, have no blessings to bestow upon you, but I can at least echo the sentiments of love. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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